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Aug. 16th, 2005 @ 01:11 am (no subject)
Hi, all.

I'm Ben, or you could call me Deranged. And yes, I am Deranged. =)

I wrote some stories before, and they usually end up quite depressing, but it was a way for me to vent my feelings out. I believe that each piece of writing reflects how I feel at that moment, and that is really what's unique in my writing.

Also, I like to make use of the weaker sex more often in my stories as main characters, simply because they are easier to mould into exactly the shape I want them to be. [No offence meant.]

What I really want is for some people to read and review what I write. I'm actually planning a story-of-the-month thing on my usual journal, lifesux23, but would like people to review any mistakes I've made first. Also, I believe that it is impossible for me to improve if I don't get critiqued, so please feel free to say anything you want to about what I post.

And this is my first offering.

"Mom, I won't be back for lunch today. I've got my CCA after school, so I'll probably home at 5.30pm. See you."

That was the usual thing Sue always does before she leaves her house for school - to leave a note for her mother. Her father pased on when hse was young, and she only had her mother to depend on. The sole breadwinner of the family, her mother usually works two shifts, and is only home in the early morning, when she takes a rest and prepares a home-cooked lunch for her beloved daughter.

But this wasn't what she wanted. What she wanted was a full family, one which has a father, a mother, and probably another sibling. She always feels lonely when she's at home at night, in the wee hours of the morning, when the whole house was dark and quiet, and she was the only person there. The recently acquired portable radio helped these days; she could listen in to one of her favourite programmes on radio, the one where listeners can write in to share their stories, be it sweet or bitter.

She didn't really have CCA that day, but that guy did. That guy whom she had always had a crush on, ever since she stepped into this school. She liked the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way his hair lays smoothly on his head, the way he plays basketball, everything. But she always thought that she isn't good enough for him, especially since he is the type of guy who is very popular among girls, and has lots of choices over who he wants to be with.

While she sat in the canteen watching him train, she unknowingly took out a piece of paper, and wrote:

"Dear DJ,

"Hi, I'm a 14 year old gal, who's studying in NASS. I'm writing in today, because I don't know where else can I let out my feelings. There always seems to be nobody around.

"Firstly, my family. My father died when I was about two, and my mother has never remarried. Alone, she holds the burden of bringing me up, and earning enough money to feed the both of us. I remember, when I was young, she used to piggyback me as she went from home to home collecting junk to sell. I remember, when I was a little bit older, she used to leave me at home alone, while she still went from home to home collecting junk to sell, and also went to the coffee shop to collect finished cans of drinks to sell. I see her how, at 14 years old, she continues to go from house to house to collect junk to sell, still went to the coffee shop to collect finished cans of drinks to sell, and also go out to work at night, just to earn enough money.

"I'm always alone at home, and it really saddens me to think of how I'm 'enjoying' myself at home while my mother, my poor mother is out there slogging her guts out at any hour. I can't bear to think of her having to carry tons and tons of junk and drink cans just to exchange for ten, twenty dollars. But what can I do to help her out?

"Secondly, I have a crush on this guy in school. I know I shouldn't be thinking of having a BGR at all, but he's really cute, and whenever I see him, my heart flutters. He's in my class, and sits at the front, mostly because the teachers all feel that he's a bright boy who's too lazy. I usually do not talk much in school, much less try to talk to him at all. Everyone calls him 'boss', everyone except the teachers, and probably his girlfriend, if he has one.

"Yes, he's that kind of guy, that kind whom any girl will fall for. Serious. He's got the looks, he's got the money, everything. [Especially the looks part.] But I don't know much about him though. And I can't imagine myself ever asking him.

"I write in not to find any answers, but only to let out my feelings a little. Thanks for reading and listening to a young teenage girl rant. I really appreciate that.

"Wind"

Once again, I don't mind any form of critiques, so please feel free to comment. Thanks for your time! xD
About this Entry
death note, comic, L
lifesux23:
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From:sadeyedartist
Date:February 14th, 2009 07:21 pm (UTC)
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Is this a complete story, or only a fragment?
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From:lifesux23
Date:February 23rd, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
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Haha, I just realised I don't even know I had this story hidden somewhere.. Hmm, I might take this and ride on it to complete it sometime haha.. :) For now I think it's only a fragment..